Fighting IC and losing vs Giving Up The Fight

[Bigbabybret]

Well, i've always been a bedwetter.

But, during daytime not so much, never great, not a lot of warning ever, and some urgency for sure my whole life, never walked past a bathroom and didnt go inand try, least not often did i go on by without trying that is.

But, when things went awry after some damage, i tried all the drs suggestions, did cath, did drugs, etc...nothing (except foley) would keep thing entirely dry so still needed to wear a diaper or some sorta pad at least, which sorta defeats the point of the drugs, as 1/2 helping doesnt help.

Now had too many UTI's with the caths, and not feeling then they would end up kidney infection before i knew it and that wasnt good for overall health.

SO, eventually i just went wth diapers and never looked back, it's not that big a deal to me to wear, especially that i'm in a wheelchair when out of the house for anything much of anything.

Wheelchair and then a diaper, that isnt that big a deal being the diaper, the wheelchair and not walkign is much bigger deal as is the other health issues, so for me it was not the biggest concern the diaper that is...being alive ranks much higher than wearing a diaper, and so does passing out, faling and getting hurt, and even just the whole not being able to walk more than 100 feet without the distinct possibility of running my face into the groud.

Now, i'm also not really an AB or DL per se, and dont/didnt look forward to it, but also never being out of diapers at night also make it so it was not a new experiance or something i havent dealt with for decades or something, and going 24/7 was from a logistics point of view not as big a deal to switch to, vs someone that is able bodied and not a bedwetter would experiance.

I get also the DL people having some supressed feelings about the whole thing as well, albeit i cant really talk to that aspect myself, i do undertand the fact that having that i going on and likely having guilt and/or repressed feelings about it would make it even harder.

Overall i consider i had it easier than a lot of people do that become IC, as i wa nevr dry at night that has never changed, and never being out of diapers, just adding on the daytime was not so much a change as going from nothing to now needing 24/7.

Not sure on the DL feeling myself, but i can get the jist of having something your hiding that then becomes somethign you have to face being also hard woudl add to the whole deal in the end too.

 

[Tenaman]

Please don’t stress about this although I do know how difficult it can be to deal with IC and indeed to make the decision to wear diapers/adult nappies to manage it. My advice would be to try and embrace the freedom that wearing appropriate protection allows you to live a fuller more active life, without the fear of accidents. My IC issues started after a spinal injury, although I was a childhood bed wetter into my early teens. As I began to lose control, initially at night, I tried all sorts but long ago decided that wearing nappies was the best way for me to manage it. I too was supported by my nurse continence advisor and I get my nappies supplied free on the UK NHS. So very lucky. As my daytime control got worse I too started to wear nappies 24/7 as I lost the feeling of needing to wee. So I only know I am when I can feel my nappy getting wet. At night, I will sometimes wake up when the pain in my back or legs wakes me and there have been times when I have thought I probably need to wee but the pain is too great or I know I wouldn’t get to the loo anyway so I just use my nappy and go back to sleep. As soon as I get up I wee straightaway so not much difference!

As I say, try and embrace the freedom of knowing you won’t have a wet bed or wet pants. And, another thing, I have never known anyone notice ( or say anything) about me wearing nappies. Other than my wife of 30 years who has lived through this with me from the outset. She will sometimes ask if my nappy is very wet at suggest I need to change it.

 

[greatlake5]

lost the battle more than I won it. I did not find real peace until I accepted the fact that I was going to wear diapers for the rest of my life, My diaper is my toilet. I am ok with that. You should too.

The poster says that even though she likes her diaper, maybe not so much when urgency hits. When I was a kid I tried to "train" me by sitting on the toilet for hours. I can't really remember of any successes. Finally I stopped trying. After a while I started to accept the fact that my diaper is my toilet.
My life became much easier. Not everything but enough to give me a bit of peace. If your difficulties continues, perhaps you'll find accepting yourself like many IC people already know. IC isn't easy. It's a lifetime challenge. Just don't struggle so hard. Try to enjoy your diaper (no judgement) and embrace it (?).

 

[babyscotty37]

So much good advice has already been offered. As one that went through a lot of intensive therapy for many years, I learned to avoid "all or nothing," or "either/or" thinking.
I suggest finding the level of protection which suits your needs the best. You can continue to go to the restroom when you can get there in time, and if you don't you are protected by wearing a pull-up, or diapers of various levels of protection.
I still try to use the bathroom when I can, or want to, to stay dry. Although I usually have less than a minute to feel the need to go and go, I sometimes have longer.
If you try the pull-up route you'll soon learn that changing in a public restroom is far more difficult, and not as hygienic, as wearing a disposable diaper.
Yes, this is a transition in your life for whatever is causing your IC, and do your best to remember you are not alone in this.

 

[princessarya]

Just wanna say thank you to everyone for the advice. The hardest part of being a DL with IC issues is accepting that now I actually need the protection and y'all did a great job with helping me accept it

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Just wanna say thank you to everyone for the advice. The hardest part of being a DL with IC issues is accepting that now I actually need the protection and y'all did a great job with helping me accept it

I've read enough to believe that this is not a uniquely DL issue. The sense of dismay and betrayal that suddenly your body is not working correctly seems nearly universal. I'm glad you've been able to reach acceptance. We do what we must, and this is no different.

 

[sport1]

So this is more of a mental health issue. To get a few things out of the way, I have spoken to a mental health professional, but like other things her and I have discussed, while she is a great listener and can provide insight, it's not the same as asking people possibly going through the same thing. Also, as I've acknowledged in the past, I love wearing diapers, I just don't necessarily love needing them. Also, I am not going to argue with anyone over whether or not I am considered IC. Am I completely IC? No, but I have urge IC that has been worsening and one thing I hate about this section is people who give others shit about posting. Okay with that out of the way...

One of the things that really really sucks is when the urge to go to the bathroom hits and I get up and am ready to run to the toilet and it's already too late. It's a kick to the mental health and I have found myself in tears on more than one occasion for being unable to make it. That leads to the obvious counter where I just accept what's happening, know I am going to be in diapers anyway and at least don't have the shame of not making to the toilet. However, that then leads to the feeling of shame over how I am just giving up instead of trying to fight this. Does anyone get where I am coming from? How do you handle these two arguments?

I have been diaper dependent for yrs and when I found out about being autistic +dd the answer was clearer.