If you died tomorrow, would anyone here notice?

[TeddyBearCowboy]

So… for those who the thread post may have gotten your attention, this is a very real and sincere question.

Recently, I was involved in a horrific incident that has left me with injuries from which I will never fully recover. As a real life cowboy, I have experienced a lot of injuries and accidents, as farming and ranching is one of the most dangerous occupations. —According to a recent study quoted in USA Today, it is the third most dangerous job in America. Other studies show it as the #1 most dangerous job and some around #6.

Anyhow, back to point. I have had many close calls, and miscellaneous injuries throughout my life and time as a cowboy. But the most recent experience left me with injuries that are irreparable and will be part of me and the rest of my life. A few seconds of happenstance could have kept me from never posting here again, nor existing further on this planet.

I have no doubt others too have had life changing events and accidents, so that isn’t unique to my occupation. But after two months of absence, I came back to my favorite place of refuge for the past 14 years, and where I could be me, and found I really hadn’t been missed at all.

The cogs of the community continued on, with many changes and new faces and others that likewise haven’t been here for awhile.

But, despite the many posts, the literal years of time spent both writing and reading and participating here, there was really no notice of my absence.

Im not looking for sympathy, nor am I being critical of anyone or the community. I am just pointing out that literally, no one noticed or seemed to care as to why I dissappeared.

This has left me very contemplative. In that while I have always touted the benefits of being here on ADISC, and how the community is an amazing place to receive support and likewise help others… it still is not the same as reality and those who physically you may be in contact and know each day.

My friends outside of the community here immediately noticed my absence and have been very concerned and looking in in my well-being. Even others on Facebook who are virtual friends reached out and expressed genuine care and concern.

But coming back tonight, I find nothing. Nobody wondered why I hadn’t posted. Nobody asked if I was okay. Nobody missed my absence.

Again, I’m not upset or trying to place guilt, because I recognized, how much have I noticed if others here did not post, even if they are folks I have appreciated thee presence and benefits from their posts and membership here. It’s just the reality of virtual communities.

So, I guess the purpose of my post is not just a blog, but to ask the question if others have experienced this too? And if so, perhaps there needs to be a recognition that while ADISC exists as a suooort community, and beyond that, the ABDL community is a group we associate with… it isn’t the same as those whom we know and associate with in person.

Even the act of being ABDL is still not full reality, as while we may act and associate with being little and/or attracted to diapers, it still isn’t the truth of our reality of being physically an adult. It is still a fantasy. And I personally hate saying that! Because the feelings of being DL or ABDL, or the associations with this are deep and as real as any other emotions or feelings that I have. But alas, it is not actually a physical reality.

So, my contemplations here are that despite how much I value the relationships and benefits and feelings of belonging to the community here, the reality is that I am just a name, a person who participated here, and I hope provided some good insights and comfort and help to others.

But I am just an avatar name and my posts are just anonymous words and letters.

Has anyone else experienced this? If so my prayers and thoughts go out to you. I apologize that I haven’t been a better friend and noticed if you weren’t around for awhile.

 

[BBBen]

@TeddyBearCowboy thats a good thread. I asked me this question with the abscence of @PaigeCherubiel. There are a few members i participate day by day and we all know, that we are her at least minimum once in a day.
We dont only talk about abdl stuff, but share also other thing also as PM.

But there are many many others which are only here now and then. And my first thought wouldnt be, that their abscence is because of injuries or illness. The problem of forum also is one of the pros - you dont have real life contact - if so you just have to share more like e-mail adress or mobilephone number....

But this forum also lives out of anonymity - to share and ask without actually dont to have been outing.

I think you could get here some close friends and there will be a time you share more and have reallife contact.

The other thing of abscence here is, that there are many members who join, writing only once and are gone for many days. And if you are writing back, you dont get any reaction.

My "shocking" experience here also was, that i got closer contact to a member here. We wrote us very much and shared not only abdl thoughts. But then from one day of the other he was banned, because of doing some bad stuff - the banning was correct - but it hurts, because it was like loosing a real friend. And i rraly had some rough time to understand whats going on - had he realy done this with bad thoughts....

And then there are some people here have trouble to accept the abdl tendicies in their life. They are fighting with binge and purge. If you open to them, they could be go away from one day of the other. And this could be hurting as well.

So the contact i have, is with the ones, which are here daily. And we ask from time to time, how evrything is. But yeah the question is justified - will others get to know, if iam be dead or ill.

Friendship also can be a hurting think. And friendship is build on trust and sharing. To a few members here, i think you can build up a friendship, but at all it is a anonymous supportside people come and go (somebody says to me). Its like a real support group there members could be off from one day to an other and where you also couldnt trust evrything they told you.

I hope, that i could be here authentic and people could trust me.

Ok thats a long reply - but iam with you. Hope you find ways to live with your injuries and that you remain here. Peoples like you a very important for this side and the atmosphere. ADISC is at least thankfully not an ABDL side like others, where the sexual and fetish aspects are in focus. And to be a member here helps me very much to accept me and who iam.

Blessings to you

 

[LittleAndAlone]

I don't think it's that nobody cares. More like just minds their own business. Life happens and people can't be on the internet all the time, it's expected and normal and people come and go all the time online.

I don't know too many people who would miss me outside of family. Im very introvert and asocial IRL and dont keep very many if any friends. Many who I thought to be close friends always have sudden shifts in views at some point that become a direct threat to my non negotiable interests and existence as a free individual serving no master. It becomes a constant friction point and irreconcilable. I will never talk with them again and have reset my small social circle many times because of it. I will not suffer the company of those who would throw my individual liberties under the bus because of a few bad actors in our ever degrading society. Some of them probably wouldn't mind if I disappeared.

My young nieces and nephews are who I especially think about the most. We are very very close. I really bond with kids. They are inconsolable when they beg me to spend the night/weekend when I visit. I can't imagine what they would go through if I was just gone one day and they had to be told they would never see me again. Ugh. I suppose that's the only good thing about childhood being only a blink. Stuff like that is so much easier as adults.

 

[KBoy]

Okay, first of all, i will follow you.
That helps when it comes to keeping up with people here.
The main thing though, is it's a support group...
You lose people in support groups... and it can be very hard.
i am a recovering addict, i was a AA member, it wasn't right for me and i had to get clean on my own. But like a lot of desperate people, i tried it. It's anonymous, like here and you lose people.
My wife is a breast cancer survivor, she was in a support group. i picked her up after a meeting and she told me that she would not be going back. i ask her if someone had been mean to her. She said everyone is dying and she couldn't take it anymore. i said ok....
i checked on the @Towerhead profile this morning, i miss Tower
The thing is, freinds are not just there for the good times, we are going to lose people here. And it's sad, but the rest of us are still here. Many afraid, and confused. Being abdl is not a easy thing for many of us to accept. i was alone with it forever.
So we be kind to each other, try to understand.
We care, i know that i do, and i am scared of losing freinds here, cuz i care.

 

[slimjiminy]

I'm IC and not AB/DL, but I have considered this question as well.

Because it is anonymous in nature, it also means that my wife, family or friends are not going to post for me after my demise. I've been part of another support site where seemingly the older folks seem to have gone AWOL. I suspect that many have become severely disabled or perhaps have passed away.

But here is an idea: It would be nice to have the user option such that if you don't sign in after so many days, that the site posts for you to the effect that "user x has joined the 'silent poster' list" (that might mean disability, death or lack of interest). The site administrator can decide whether to deactivate the account or not at the same time.

 

[CorPornosnor]

I’m pretty sure if I were to die nobody here would know about it or even think something is out of the ordinary. Sometimes I’m not on this forum for days or even weeks because of various reasons but I don’t think anybody has ever noticed. But the thing is, There are a lot of people on this site, and people come and go all the time for various reasons. So most people probably didn’t notice you didn’t post anything and those who did probably didn’t think there was something really bad going on.

 

[irnub]

As a few other people have said, the nature of forums/Internet is that people come and go for reasons they don't always feel the need to articulate. It's fairly normal for people to up and stop posting for months or even forever for whatever reason.

Contrast that with irl relationships or even internet friendships with frequent one on one conversations. An unexplained absence is much much more likely to be noticed in this instances.

 

[ozbub]

Hey, sorry to hear about your accident, I hope you’re coping ok with your recovery.

To your post, I experienced this a long time ago, and it left me feeling a bit like this community can be a touch superficial. But I still value being connected, even if it is in a sense from the shadows.

At one point I felt very much part of the family if you like, but then after a similar short time away, I found that no one really seemed to notice or show any interest. It could just be the transient nature of the community I guess.

I have respect for the consistent commitment of some contributors, but it’s not always possible for everyone. Kind of leaves me not motivated to participate. So why do I keep hanging around? Because, as an ABDL I still really want to feel like I belong somewhere and can be accepted for who I am in this shitty world.

Maybe one day I’ll have the time to contribute more consistently again, but I don’t particularly think my relationship with the community will change as a result.

Please take care, and hope you’re back in the saddle soon.

 

[Nowididit]

No. It's an honest answer that ppl need to accept. Ask yourself this. Ppl die everyday, in 2023 61 million ppl died worldwide. If you didn't know them did you mourn them? Do you miss them? Was your life affected by their deaths? I'm guessing not.
So here it is. While I enjoy conversing with ppl here I don't know any of you personally. I will not mourn your passing, much less notice it. Your death will not affect me. Life will go on for me.

 

[KBoy]

Hey, sorry to hear about your accident, I hope you’re coping ok with your recovery.

To your post, I experienced this a long time ago, and it left me feeling a bit like this community can be a touch superficial. But I still value being connected, even if it is in a sense from the shadows.

At one point I felt very much part of the family if you like, but then after a similar short time away, I found that no one really seemed to notice or show any interest. It could just be the transient nature of the community I guess.

I have respect for the consistent commitment of some contributors, but it’s not always possible for everyone. Kind of leaves me not motivated to participate. So why do I keep hanging around? Because, as an ABDL I still really want to feel like I belong somewhere and can be accepted for who I am in this shitty world.

Maybe one day I’ll have the time to contribute more consistently again, but I don’t particularly think my relationship with the community will change as a result.

Please take care, and hope you’re back in the saddle soon.

You have been here a long time baby....i am following you
i was interested in people who had been here forever when i first got here 7 months ago.
i posted on a long time members status, "i am so excited to meet other ABDL people here" Nothing.. it's ok..
When i was in AA, they "Love" their "Old Timers"
Bunch of D*ck$ that were like "I used to be a piece of Sh#t, like you, but now Just You Are!"
SOoooo @ozbub it's so nice to meet you. I see that you have been on forum for quite a while,
i am sure that we will be great freinds here

 

[Sealander]

It's tough. I think lots of people come and go depending on how busy life gets. My assumption concerning anyone who disappears for even a few weeks would be just that. And it is honestly hard to notice when someone stops posting for a few days, unless (for instance) they are one of the persons who makes profile posts everyday. It's not like when you show up to work and there's an empty desk.

I think my aspiration would be to build relationships with people so that people would check in on me if I went missing, but I'm not there yet. I suspect if I disappeared, people would eventually say, "Gee, I hope nothing happened to him" and maybe send a DM.

 

[ozbub]

Haha thanks KBoy I appreciate that. My friends list here is a bit lean lol… I had a bit of a purge ages ago, not out of spite, just kind of re-booting.

 

[KBoy]

It's tough. I think lots of people come and go depending on how busy life gets. My assumption concerning anyone who disappears for even a few weeks would be just that. And it is honestly hard to notice when someone stops posting for a few days, unless (for instance) they are one of the persons who makes profile posts everyday. It's not like when you show up to work and there's an empty desk.

I think my aspiration would be to build relationships with people so that people would check in on me if I went missing, but I'm not there yet. I suspect if I disappeared, people would eventually say, "Gee, I hope nothing happened to him" and maybe send a DM.

i would definitely notice if you weren't here. But you are right, there would be nothing that i could do Short of walking the streets of the windy city calling out .
@Sealander Sealander, which i would do, but i couldn't do it forever

 

[KenworthW900b]

I seriously doubt anyone here would notice but then I don't think more than about 3 people in my life would notice my absence either.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Wow. My condolences to @TeddyBearCowboy for your loss and pain. I'm glad you're still among us. I never met you before, but others have well stated, people appear and disappear with enough regularity that we're conditioned to not be surprised by it. There have been some people here to whom I've gotten closer, and those I've missed, but usually by then I have some other way to contact them. But by and large, people come and go, and it's the nature of these things.

These sorts of places tend to have cyclical interest ebb and flow. Even myself, if you graphed my activities, you'd see my interest wax and wane. Right now it's waning, and I might drop away soon, and but my close friends know how to find me, and if I stop coming here for awhile, see you in real life.

Even though I may forget to say so, I wish everyone the best, and especially @TeddyBearCowboy and others who are dealing with life challenges.

 

[MikeyInNappies]

A very difficult question to answer. I have only been posting regularly for around 18 months, but in that time one does build a rapport with some members and it can be a bit disconcerting if someone disappears for an unusually long period of time. But as others have said, it is important to remember that it is a support group and in such groups people do come and go. So, I think it’s always going to be difficult to strike a balance between anonymity, respecting privacy and showing concern.

 

[chamberpot]

I have made some good friends here over the time i have been here, i also may find and to with some been openings.. It i were to be gone tomorrow i wouldn't expect anyone to good a missing persons report.. Good hit will on tour mend teadybear

 

[PrettyLilPrincess]

I'm so sorry to hear about the accident. Even if it seems there wouldn't be anyone on here that would miss you, there are people in your life who love you very much, and would miss you if you were gone, and sometimes that's all that matters. Never forget that.

As for myself, well, to be a bit blunt and vulnerable for a moment, I do have thoughts of suicide sometimes. A few weeks ago, I came pretty close. I won't go into it, but at the time, I was eyeing some antibiotics I'd gotten prescribed. And even when I'm not experiencing feelings of despair, I wonder about the people in my life who love me, and how they'd react to and cope with my death. I wonder about who would attend my funeral, and even what the afterlife might look like, if there is one.

As for people on here who might miss me... There's at least one person who comes to mind. In fact, I'm good friends with someone in particular. A few of you may or may not be able to guess who he is, but this user and I have developed a great friendship over the past year or so. He's been there to hear me out when I was experiencing some personal hardships. I really do owe a lot to him. Out of everyone here, he's the user I know the best. I always enjoy reading his posts and talking to him. He's a really sweet and gentle guy, and I don't think I've ever seen him angry (from the confines of a screen, that is).

Anyway, I'd like to think he's miss me if I was gone. I know I'd miss him if he was.

 

[TeeMousy]

I'm sorry to hear about your accident @TeddyBearCowboy but I'm glad you are still with us.
You're story reminded me of something one of my customers at the Kroger store said to me. She was a regular customer and always said hi when she saw me. But she had some health issues and had not been in the store for quite awhile. When she returned she was saddened that I had not noticed her absence. I felt bad but I see so many people come and go I just didn't notice.
I don't post a lot, so most probably don't notice even when I am here. So I doubt any would notice if I disappeared, at least not right away. There was one individual whom I stayed in contact with for a short while after they left. But then they told me they wanted to leave the AB/DL part of their life behind them so they ended their contact with me just because I was associated with this group. I totally understood and respected their commitment to bettering themselves.
IRL I have my roommate, and my church family that would notice if I was gone. Plus of course work would be calling if I didn't show up one day.

 

[ade]

Has anyone else experienced this?

Yep
That's why I'm not kind of not too bothered about posting my pics: it's my only legacy.
Tbh, I'd not noticed your undue absence since your threads still get replies; it's like you hadn't gone (and this year is on Concorde!). And you have to admit that your stints of posting have been a sporadic (or at least it seemed like that until I checked your activity ). But I, like others, knew that you had stuff to do (and farming is a 24/7 job), so I accepted that while you're a regular, you're not a daily chatterbox.

Anyway, get well soon/as best you can.