Why do age regressors hate ABDL's so much?

[lilcamper]

People have brought up really great points from both sides. I identify as a little, and I think AB implies regression or some kind of age aspect, and I identify with that as well. I think many people feel shame, even about their platonic desires, and even in the kink community, ABDLs are an easy scapegoat, "at least we aren't them", as someone on the big little podcast pointed out. I think I've had to accept myself, and with that comes with the acknowledgment that I was in denial, or ashamed.
Ultimately, I want everyone to be happy and represent themselves! For some, they want to distance themselves from sexual aspects, but that doesn't mean it's not totally okay as an adult not hurting anyone. I, for one, am happy to be here !

 

[Lilschoolfox]

im middle aged 7 to 11 when i age play like any kid im curois , sarting to find out wat turns me on having my 1st bonnor obvs its me as an adult rp not as lil kid

 

[DreamyDoodleBug]

Sorry that I haven't been on in a while, I've been feeling bad about being an ABDL since I've had agere's telling me that it's shameful and gross

Has anyone else noticed that age regressors hate us? The people who regress mentally for fun, as a coping mechanism, or as a trauma response always have something mean to say about ABDLs. I don't seem to get it, aren't we one in the same?
I don't know, I might just still be trying to get over the interaction I had. But I've been watching videos on YouTube that mention age regression in one way or another, and the comments are filled with agere's telling the poster that age regressing doesn't like/accept ABDL. There's been one or two positive comments about ABDL but other than that, they're practically raging about how agere and ABDL shouldn't be lumped together and how age regressors will never accept ABDLs

I'm sorry if this sounds like a vent, I'll absolutely get rid of it if need be. I just wanted to see if other ABs, DLs, and ABDLs have noticed this before, though

I"m 100% an age regressor, not ABDL despite being here. But still enjoy the forum, so I thought I could share an opinion as someone from "the other side" so to speak

The two look similar on the surface, but are fundementally different from each other, so I wouldn't say one in the same. I agree that the two shouldn't be lumped together for the sake of everyone's safety. I am unsure if you've looked at all into the age regression community, but there's a fair share of minors (large reason why I'm here, not looking to engage with them), large reason why I am against crosstagging.

I think a large reason ABDLs tend to get flack from that community is both due to there being minors, those people aren't going to be able to see things as well outside of a black and white. As well as due to the two getting confused, and poor communication, I've heard plenty of stories of age regressors accidentally wandering into ABDL spaces, or vice versa, and in that sort of interaction the regressor leaves feeling taken advantage of. So people hate on that note either because they had an experience like that, or hearing stories like that has been their main exposure too ABDL. As well as again, wanting to create a far devide between the two of them. While I think stigma is weaning with ABDLs, part of it is age regressors going "oh no I'm not like THOSE people!!" as the general public isn't the biggest fan of them.

Overall my take is do whatever you want, so long as no one is getting hurt and it makes you happy, be in the agere community, ABDL, or both. But I do believe it's best to avoid conflation and to recognize that while there's similarities, the two are pretty different. Like apple juice and apple cider. A lot of hate towards ABDLs is undeserved

 

[littledub1955]

Sorry that I haven't been on in a while, I've been feeling bad about being an ABDL since I've had agere's telling me that it's shameful and gross

Has anyone else noticed that age regressors hate us? The people who regress mentally for fun, as a coping mechanism, or as a trauma response always have something mean to say about ABDLs. I don't seem to get it, aren't we one in the same?
I don't know, I might just still be trying to get over the interaction I had. But I've been watching videos on YouTube that mention age regression in one way or another, and the comments are filled with agere's telling the poster that age regressing doesn't like/accept ABDL. There's been one or two positive comments about ABDL but other than that, they're practically raging about how agere and ABDL shouldn't be lumped together and how age regressors will never accept ABDLs

I'm sorry if this sounds like a vent, I'll absolutely get rid of it if need be. I just wanted to see if other ABs, DLs, and ABDLs have noticed this before, though

I'm an age regresser and a diaper lover also but I can accept anything else that people like to do even if I don't have the same interests as others that are here. I don't care if they're trans, sissies, furrys or whatever they do I still love them anyway. I don't think that I'm the only one here who feels that way.

 

[littledub1955]

A lot of regressors dont see the sexual or pleasurable aspect some get from diapers or baby items. They see age regression being a real baby and babies arent supposed to have those type thoughts or do those actions. They take the baby role play very literal in a sense. I dont consider them Diaper Lovers. They are their own category but likewise I dont see age regressing as appealing to me. I cant see myself dressed as a baby or little kid out in public, or say being breast fed or fed in a huge high chair by a Mommy role player. That being said I dont hate people who age regress.They are allowed to act on whats appealing to them.

You have expressed the differences between us all very well in a way that anyone who reads your reply in this matter can easily understand. Thank you so much.

 

[littledub1955]

This right here .. oh and I like Avocados

So do I

 

[Joediaper]

Dreamy really hit hard on some of the confusion that lies within.

I"m 100% an age regressor, not ABDL

In reality AB and DL are two completely different spectrums of the lifestyle. They really don't go together at all yet they are still lumped together as one thing. AB is age regression while DL is simply the joy of wearing diapers. DL lends itself more readily to a sexual environment because the regression isn't there. Where you say,

the two shouldn't be lumped together for the sake of everyone's safety

should read three by the fundamental nature of things:

1. AB - An adult that want's to be a baby, babied or cared for.
2. Regressor - Someone who regresses to an earlier age and is more independent in nature.
3. DL - Someone who enjoys wearing diapers for recreational or sexual reasons and spends little to no time regressed.

I've heard plenty of stories of age regressors accidentally wandering into ABDL spaces, or vice versa, and in that sort of interaction the regressor leaves feeling taken advantage of.

This is the biggest issue with people using ABDL to label their events. If something is labeled ABDL I would expect something like CAPCon. From what I understand it's more of a playground for regressors but mostly diapered. Nothing sexual going on as described on the website. That would/should be a place where an age regressor should feel welcomed and comfortable even if they don't wear diapers. If that's not the case then shame on those that would discriminate or even allow discrimination based on the presence of a diaper. I sincerely hope that isn't the case from those stories you heard.

The stories I have heard where someone went to an ABDL event and felt uncomfortable or taken advantage of are the events that should be labeled 'DL XXX Enter At Your Own Risk'. You go somewhere expecting something like CAPCon and end up surrounded by diaper sex and bombarded by sexual advances then ridiculed for even showing up when you don't partake.

I feel there needs to be a greater divide between the non sexual and sexual ends of the spectrum.

 

[DreamyDoodleBug]

Dreamy really hit hard on some of the confusion that lies within.

In reality AB and DL are two completely different spectrums of the lifestyle. They really don't go together at all yet they are still lumped together as one thing. AB is age regression while DL is simply the joy of wearing diapers. DL lends itself more readily to a sexual environment because the regression isn't there. Where you say,

should read three by the fundamental nature of things:

1. AB - An adult that want's to be a baby, babied or cared for.
2. Regressor - Someone who regresses to an earlier age and is more independent in nature.
3. DL - Someone who enjoys wearing diapers for recreational or sexual reasons and spends little to no time regressed.

This is the biggest issue with people using ABDL to label their events. If something is labeled ABDL I would expect something like CAPCon. From what I understand it's more of a playground for regressors but mostly diapered. Nothing sexual going on as described on the website. That would/should be a place where an age regressor should feel welcomed and comfortable even if they don't wear diapers. If that's not the case then shame on those that would discriminate or even allow discrimination based on the presence of a diaper. I sincerely hope that isn't the case from those stories you heard.

The stories I have heard where someone went to an ABDL event and felt uncomfortable or taken advantage of are the events that should be labeled 'DL XXX Enter At Your Own Risk'. You go somewhere expecting something like CAPCon and end up surrounded by diaper sex and bombarded by sexual advances then ridiculed for even showing up when you don't partake.

I feel there needs to be a greater divide between the non sexual and sexual ends of the spectrum.

I cannot speak on CAPCon or similar events, as I’ve never been personally. Those events I’ve seen label themselves as for age players, though realistically would also be able to accommodate regressors as well. In my comment I was mostly referring too online interactions, but something like that could happen IRL as well. Those interactions have largely been due too again terms being confused and misused. Like someone believing age regression is the exact same thing as being an adult baby. Since the agere community scewes younger on average overall online, plus with the nature of the community, as it largely is a coping mechanism or comes about due to truama they may not fully notice that things are happening with a sexual undertone, or feel pressure (regardless if the other person is actually pressuring them) to participate to keep the interaction going. I do agree it’s a bit odd how AB and AB’s are lumped together, as while there’s a ton of overlap I’m sure they are distinct kinks that can be enjoyed independently of each other.

 

[littledub1955]

Delusions don't need false legitimacy.

More to the point I agree, this is one of many areas where separation is appropriate. My contention is that such stratification should be assessed on its own merit, rather than a presumption of inappropriateness.

I am not in a position to say whether or not agere communities I am not a part of are more or less risky as integrated or segregated, only that both have their advantages and challenges.

I must confess that something feeling the need to be explicitly non-sexual makes me uncomfortable but I am much too far removed to offer an informed opinion.

I'm an age regresser or a little as I like to call myself and a diaper lover and until today I was never aware of anyone feeling that people like me were hating on those who found sexual gratification from themselves or others wearing diapers or being gay or trans or furries or anything else that they identified with because I've never felt that way. The only kind of people I hate on are those who pray on children and bullies. But I will never agree with anyone who thinks that all age regressers don't like anyone in this community who isn't a nonsexual age regresser or anything else that they may identify as and I feel offended by anyone who may believe that I feel that way.

I am also in r/nevergrewup, makes me wonder how many other NGUs are also ABDL and are here as well?

Or ABDLs( like myself ) are also NGUs. I never heard of NGUs either until today but come to think about it I never really grew up either because I've always been kinda childish. I've always been slow to catching up.

 

[littledub1955]

Dreamy really hit hard on some of the confusion that lies within.

In reality AB and DL are two completely different spectrums of the lifestyle. They really don't go together at all yet they are still lumped together as one thing. AB is age regression while DL is simply the joy of wearing diapers. DL lends itself more readily to a sexual environment because the regression isn't there. Where you say,

should read three by the fundamental nature of things:

1. AB - An adult that want's to be a baby, babied or cared for.
2. Regressor - Someone who regresses to an earlier age and is more independent in nature.
3. DL - Someone who enjoys wearing diapers for recreational or sexual reasons and spends little to no time regressed.

This is the biggest issue with people using ABDL to label their events. If something is labeled ABDL I would expect something like CAPCon. From what I understand it's more of a playground for regressors but mostly diapered. Nothing sexual going on as described on the website. That would/should be a place where an age regressor should feel welcomed and comfortable even if they don't wear diapers. If that's not the case then shame on those that would discriminate or even allow discrimination based on the presence of a diaper. I sincerely hope that isn't the case from those stories you heard.

The stories I have heard where someone went to an ABDL event and felt uncomfortable or taken advantage of are the events that should be labeled 'DL XXX Enter At Your Own Risk'. You go somewhere expecting something like CAPCon and end up surrounded by diaper sex and bombarded by sexual advances then ridiculed for even showing up when you don't partake.

I feel there needs to be a greater divide between the non sexual and sexual ends of the spectrum.

Now I am very confused. I don't want to be babied persa but when I regress I feel like a baby sometimes because I love pacifiers baby bottles and sometimes even suck my thumb. I also absolutely love wearing diapers but not for sexual or recreational reasons and I spend a consideral amount of time regressing to between 3-5 years old ( sometimes far younger) while wearing a diaper. I feel like I need to regress right after this reply now because I'm about to have an anxiety attack. I'm so confused now. I'll be back sometime tomorrow maybe.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

CAPcon is open to everybody. There are far more than just ABDL there.

 

[Bunnybnuy]

Hello hi I am an age regressor. I have a tumblr that I use to browse the agere tags. Here are my two cents if you'll have me. Also I'm not even an armchair psychologist let alone someone with a degree, and all of this is personal experience/stuff i've witnessed

A lot of the animosity the agere community has for ABDL/DDLG seems to stem from an aversion to sex and/or kink combined with the understandible fear of being non-consensually sexualized. For many, agere is a trauma response born from problems at home growing up, bullying, generally turbulant and unsafe situations. Age regression is how their brain processes and heals from those traumas, and being little is a safe space where they can re-write those experiences in a context where the traumatic things can't happen to them again. They don't consent to being a part of someone else's kink, and it's made extra uncomfortable when the said kinks fetishizes a lot of what they do as a trauma response. This may also be like agere tumblr specific, but a lot of the blogs i see who are very adamate about not wanting to see/interact with kink accounts are minors, who for obvious reasons are justified in feeling that way.

As far as adults are concerned, I'm personally very conflicted? I'm not a kinky person let alone a sexual one, but a lot of my partners are. None of them are abdl or ddlg, but they've accepted me in all my asexual glory. They understand I'm scared of sexual intamacy and that i'm not ready for it. They also understand that despite some of them knowing/dating people into diapers that I don't want any part of my regression sexualized. They know my boundries and respect them. As their girlfriend that's all I could ever ask for. kink and sexuality are frowned upon in every agere tag, yet here I am. the most ace girl in a polycule full of kinksters and yet my boundries have never been more respected, and haven't once been crossed. I've never felt safer with this side of me around anyone else.

Kink's not inherently bad imo. It's sorta a lot like having favorite ice cream flavors. I personally don't understand why anyone in their right mind would activly want pistashio, but i'm not going to fault someone for it. It's what they like, so they talk about it's radical pistashio-ness with other pistashio fans. That said, I'd rather stick with cookie dough thanks!

 

[Lilschoolfox]

Hello hi I am an age regressor. I have a tumblr that I use to browse the agere tags. Here are my two cents if you'll have me. Also I'm not even an armchair psychologist let alone someone with a degree, and all of this is personal experience/stuff i've witnessed

A lot of the animosity the agere community has for ABDL/DDLG seems to stem from an aversion to sex and/or kink combined with the understandible fear of being non-consensually sexualized. For many, agere is a trauma response born from problems at home growing up, bullying, generally turbulant and unsafe situations. Age regression is how their brain processes and heals from those traumas, and being little is a safe space where they can re-write those experiences in a context where the traumatic things can't happen to them again. They don't consent to being a part of someone else's kink, and it's made extra uncomfortable when the said kinks fetishizes a lot of what they do as a trauma response. This may also be like agere tumblr specific, but a lot of the blogs i see who are very adamate about not wanting to see/interact with kink accounts are minors, who for obvious reasons are justified in feeling that way.

As far as adults are concerned, I'm personally very conflicted? I'm not a kinky person let alone a sexual one, but a lot of my partners are. None of them are abdl or ddlg, but they've accepted me in all my asexual glory. They understand I'm scared of sexual intamacy and that i'm not ready for it. They also understand that despite some of them knowing/dating people into diapers that I don't want any part of my regression sexualized. They know my boundries and respect them. As their girlfriend that's all I could ever ask for. kink and sexuality are frowned upon in every agere tag, yet here I am. the most ace girl in a polycule full of kinksters and yet my boundries have never been more respected, and haven't once been crossed. I've never felt safer with this side of me around anyone else.

Kink's not inherently bad imo. It's sorta a lot like having favorite ice cream flavors. I personally don't understand why anyone in their right mind would activly want pistashio, but i'm not going to fault someone for it. It's what they like, so they talk about it's radical pistashio-ness with other pistashio fans. That said, I'd rather stick with cookie dough thanks!

cookiesss where looks around

 

[BBBen]

i have read some of the replies here and i understand some aspects of the age regressors side now better.

What i have struggle is that non professionals and foreigners interact with minors in that way, minors get a plattform in a non safespace - means online. In the moment you share online, you couldnt steer what others do with your content. And the controversy of saying abdl is only sexual adult content misses the point that strange adults doing like they are therapeuts for minors - And with claiming others the bad ones they set their own free. Dont get me wrong here - i realy hink that the most doing it for good reason and to support others. But there are like evrywhere black sheeps.

But if age regression is therapeutic also for minors, then it has to be in a safe therapeutic context and maximum in a sepperated support group where nobody stranger has access to. Thats our responsibility for this kids and youth. Posting age regression pics and content is for me then like doing pics and posts online with own kids and youth - and here iam old fashioned - that is content you dont want to be in control of the wrong people. And as adults with responsibility we have to set this boarders, if minors didnt see this danger. In other context like cardriving or access to bankdeals or work we set this boarder as well for a good reason

And thats hasnt to do with abdl being a sexual thing for some.
Thats my opinion - also i dont share here explicit sexual content - iam happy, that this community is only open for active non minor members.
And i say that allthough i for myself wished in my youth to have someone to discuss this feelings. But internet, accessable for evrybody, isnt a safespace for minors.

sorry if iam here to harsh
iam happy, that this here is a place where you could do this communication between adults - age regressors, adult babies, diaper lover and others.

 

[Lilschoolfox]

Miones should have there own ab or sites only for them

 

[Anemone]

I'm an age regresser or a little as I like to call myself and a diaper lover and until today I was never aware of anyone feeling that people like me were hating on those who found sexual gratification from themselves or others wearing diapers or being gay or trans or furries or anything else that they identified with because I've never felt that way. The only kind of people I hate on are those who pray on children and bullies. But I will never agree with anyone who thinks that all age regressers don't like anyone in this community who isn't a nonsexual age regresser or anything else that they may identify as and I feel offended by anyone who may believe that I feel that way.

Or ABDLs( like myself ) are also NGUs. I never heard of NGUs either until today but come to think about it I never really grew up either because I've always been kinda childish. I've always been slow to catching up.

I don't think that anyone is contending that all people in any group feel uniformly.

Having discrete identities does invite tribalism as we often define through opposition.

Part of what defines group A is being not the same as group B (or they would not be different) so there are clear fault lines from the start.

You as an individual can hold almost any view and still be consistent with almost any group membership, but groups do tend to be more homogeneous than a random sample as like attracts like.

In short, animosity exists between the groups. As a member of either group - or indeed as an outside party - you are free to contribute to; collude with; or challenge the attitudes producing the disharmony.

 

[Prillprillprill]

The two look similar on the surface, but are fundementally different from each other

I think the people insisting abdl and agere are totally different things are missing a lot of nuance. I've said it before but abdl is a broad umbrella and the divide between communities is actually more of a generational one.

While I'm not entirely a fan of the term abdl, it is the minority of abdls who experience it as purely a kink/ fetish.


See thread:

POLL: Is your ABDLism sexual?

I saw someone on here claim that ABDLism is 'often not sexual', which goes contrary to my experience and what I've heard from many others, but, would be interested to know more on this topic. No judgement at all either way. I'm in the NOT AT ALL SEXUAL CAMP. For me being an ABDL and regressing...

www.adisc.org

Age regression is how their brain processes and heals from those traumas, and being little is a safe space

This is true for a lot a self-identified abdls as well. There are numerous threads on here about trauma and many many members with really harrowing life stories. The main reason I've heard for people wanting to wear nappies (whether sexual or not) is because it makes them feel safe.

I've discussed my personal story and bad experiences both in the agere community and sexualised adbl spaces before:

Post in thread 'Play vs Regression' https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/play-vs-regression.173233/post-2252341

We need to talk about 'agere'

Hi - big breath- This is a tough topic for me So I'll start by saying I am an age regressor. By which I mean I involtarily experience an altered mindset which is younger. I have for a long long time. When I first found out about abdl. It was a relief to find I was not the only one who...

www.adisc.org

But I think essentially it's very complex and there are a few different angles. There's obviously the sexual Vs non-sexual angle, the traumagenic Vs benign causation angle, and the coping mechanism Vs kink angle. I think the thing is people understandably don't want to think of their little side as a coping mechanism or trauma response because that's not empowering or fun.

But even if it does come from something painful that doesn't make it wrong and it doesn't make it sad. If you can turn that into something pure and experience joy and contentment so immediately, well that is wonderful. Littlespace really is a gift, being able to access a child/infant headspace is almost a superpower.

But tbh I find it hard to believe someone would really turn to that or be capable of that kind of regression without some kind of trauma or mental pain. Plus of all the AB/DLs I know personally (not including purely DLs) do you wanna know how many have significant childhood trauma and mental health problems? - All of them.
Doesn't mean there aren't any who don't. But I've never known any.

No disrespect to anyone's view or personal identity but if you really look into these different aspects of apparent divergence between communities, it's a much more complex picture than abdls are kinksters who don't have trauma and agere is a coping mechanism, and no age regressor ever experiences arousal while little.

And that's before you even get into stuff like autism, dissociation, and attachment theory.

 

[am1248]

Breaking it down as I understand it, the agere community largely has disdain for AB/DL because of the prevalence and tolerance for sexualization (the "kink side") in the community.

(Source: I know someone who is in the agere community, and this is precisely what they've said).

 

[munkey]

Because humans like to belong to groups and think their group is better then another.

 

[Bunnybnuy]

No disrespect to anyone's view or personal identity but if you really look into these different aspects of apparent divergence between communities, it's a much more complex picture than abdls are kinksters who don't have trauma and agere is a coping mechanism, and no age regressor ever experiences arousal while little.

I didn't mean to imply that it was so black and white. I'm sorry. the division feels so needlessly pointless to me in a way I can't find words for and that frustrates me.