After four nights in a row of waking up to suddenly flood my disposable when I stand up and try to run to the bathroom (and just last night when I was just trying to vibe) I can confirm that laying down shuts off part of my body's "YOU HAVE TO PEE NOW" signal, because once again I have tested the limits of a disposable while trying to get up from bed because no signal, full flood.
Therapy was hard and I'm scared and I think I'm gonna just let my body do what it's demanding of me because... I'm tired, I'm raw, and I'm still overloaded from it, and frankly I'm too exhausted to NOT cry at this point
Which is a thing that 8f you know me you know doesn't happen EVER
I am just tired and raw and need to sit still without a device.
Also blah blah bleeding stomach lining WHATEVER. It's bad but I'm not with the spoons to explain the day. I'm just gonna get hella baked and vibe until my body lets me sleep.
The one thing I miss about that friendship is that I don't have anyone else to rant about fibromyalgia pain anymore. She got it, no one else in my circle now does .
Day before yesterday I had flashbacks that scared me so bad that I actually had an accident at some point. I don't remember exactly when, but I knew what had happened when I took off my underwear that I wear when I'm having an air-out day to put on a nappy. Woke up wet, too.