Having been IC since the beginning (U-IC/F-IC), most people who knew me when I was in school, they knew I was wearing a diaper. Of course it wasn't fun. After college I moved to another state and bought a company (with my father). Despite having good friends I didn't have a girlfriend until I connected with a particularly girl. Long story short, she is know my partner (for over a year +). She has said that she's not afraid of my diaper. In fact, she thinks they're cute (really?). After we slept together I tried to hide my diaper. I would get into bed and wear some thin sweat shorts. But one night she just grabbed my shorts and said she wanted to see my diaper. So eventually I don't hide them. Even in the morning when I usually have a BM while sleeping, she says it doesn't smell like poop (I use chlorophyll). But she knows there is a load in the bottom of my diaper. I finally let her change me as long it was only in the evening when my diaper was wet. I've never let her change a messy diaper. For me it would just be too embarrassing.
She's okay with my incontinence. She knows it's a medical problem and my diaper doesn't bother her at all.
As for dealing with wet and dirty diapers, there are a few things you could use. There really isn't anything you could do about someone who simply hates the fact that you're IC and diaper dependent. But if they became more understanding about our IC issues, you can live just about as normal.
If you have F-IC, I suggest using internal deodorants. You won't stink around the house. Also, make sure you change a wet or dirty diaper when you can. I also use incense and cologne. It helps. Most of the time I wear plastic pants over my diaper. I don't sit around the house in just a diaper (even though my girlfriend doesn't mind). Sometimes if your partner is disgusted about your accidents, you probably picked the wrong partner. Sorry but it's true.