Aberrantly Me - Is Self-care selfish?

[aberrantlyme]

I"m not good at self-care...

Is self-care selfish?

I keep a journal that I frequent, more or less, on a weekly basis. It is a book of blank pages, no lines, where I can draw and scribe what is going on in my life. This blog, and the ass…

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[Subtlerustle]

I have always put my parental duties ahead of self care as well. That said when it is my time I’ve never felt bad about it.

 

[littleFeathers]

Speaking as one who has been a caregiver to an aging parent, I can say that self-care is not selfish. It's essential.

You can't help others if you're a wreck. It's said so often that it seems stale, but you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you help others with theirs: you're no good to anyone if you're all blue and giddy from hypoxia. Or burnt out.

A relative (too far distant to help) told me: "if you go down, <the parent> is in trouble."

 

[Subtlerustle]

Speaking as one who has been a caregiver to an aging parent, I can say that self-care is not selfish. It's essential.

You can't help others if you're a wreck. It's said so often that it seems stale, but you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you help others with theirs: you're no good to anyone if you're all blue and giddy from hypoxia. Or burnt out.

A relative (too far distant to help) told me: "if you go down, <the parent> is in trouble."

You’re so very right. Been there with parents and in-laws and it can be all consuming. In Canada you need a healthy person to advocate for you if you’re in the hospital/long term care system. It’s “free” but it’s over burdened. Sorry that may be off in a tangent.

Right now my wife and I have a friend who is going through a tough time. Her mother passed, she’s getting divorced, moved and having renovations done to her new place. She is unraveling hard and medicating with alcohol. It struck me as such an unhealthy way to try to help herself (not judging) as it’s a known depressant. I thought about diapers and how they can be like medicine and how fortunate I am to have a harmless avenue like them to use. Now I’m not naive enough to believe diapers can get me through what she’s going through but even the day to day stresses can be mitigated with them before they snowball. So yeah, self care mustn’t be forgotten or be the subject of guilt.